And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
When God assigns any duty or issues any command—as He does to parents to bring up their children—He also grants the resources required to carry them out in a manner pleasing to Him. He also identifies the means He wishes parents to employ: discipline and instruction.
The primary resource given to every Christian as one of the blessings of salvation is the indwelling Holy Spirit, who strengthens and enables the Christian to do that which God instructs (Ephesian 3:14-20; 6:10). In parenting, as in every duty, the Christian parent must walk by the Spirit, actively depending upon Him for help, strength and ability.
There are at least two other resources of which the wise Christian parent ought to make full use: natural affection and intercessory prayer.
The first of these resources is natural affection. Natural affection—the strong bond of affection between parent and child–begins at birth and exists as a benefit of God’s common grace. By nature, children will love their parents more than anyone else in the world—except themselves. This love is a mighty lever that a parent can lean on to nurture their child, actively nurturing this natural affection for the child’s benefit.
The second resource is intercessory prayer. This is the more powerful means, because it lays hold of the most powerful Helper. Parents must use the lever of constant prayer for themselves and for their children. Pray much for them while they are young. Pray as they grow. Pray when they are gone.
The two means God intends for parents to employ are discipline and instruction, and they are of a particular kind: “the discipline and instruction of the Lord”. The Old Testament identifies the same means and expresses them in Proverbs 29:15 in the negative—but constructive—forms. “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”
The Heavenly Father uses the same means to discipline His children, and He does so in love for their benefit. “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him, for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives. It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline . . . For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness (Hebrews 12:5-13). “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline . . . (Revelation 3:19).”
