Marriage Helps #14
In Ephesians chapter 5 Paul explains the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives. In this version of “Marriage Helps” the faithful practice by wives will be addressed first. God gives to wives the role of helper and complement (not competitor) of her husband. Her husband is her primary ministry. Paul instructs wives to “be subject to your own husband.”
Be subject to your own husband, as to the Lord . . . as the church is subject to Christ, so also be subject to your husband in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24).
To be subject requires a wife to exercise self-denial as she voluntarily gives herself up in loyalty to the leadership of her husband. It is characterized by a disposition to yield to his authority, a willingness to follow his leadership, an inclination to understand his expressed will as hers.
To be subject is to exercise a subordinate role, but it is a role that does not imply spiritual inferiority. The distinct roles of husbands and wives were rooted in creation and reaffirmed in redemption (Genesis 2, I Corinthians 11). The subordinate role does not imply spiritual inferiority any more than it did when the Son of God submitted to Mary and Joseph in His incarnation. It is a matter of role, not nature. It does not imply that the husband is wiser, more gifted or spiritually mature.
To be subject requires a wife to surrender herself to support her husband’s leadership, but it does not mean that she must suppress her natural talents, intellect or spiritual gifts and graces. She is to bring all that God has made her to be into a full coordination and cooperation with her husband’s leadership.
To be subject includes the wife’s practical obedience to the husband, except where such obedience would be disobedience to the Lord. The church submits to Christ by affirming His authority and following His lead. Jesus explained what He meant by obedience to Him in Luke 6:46, “Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?” Or, as He says in John 14:15, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”
To be subject is a responsibility closely connected to the important words Paul adds in Ephesians 5:33, “let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.” The word “respect” literally means “to fear,” denoting honor and reverence, suggesting that the wife ought to honor and esteem her husband and the role and responsibility that God has given to him. One has observed that for many wives it is far easier to serve and sacrifice for their husbands than it is to respect them.
